The Whalley Reviews: The Castlevania Games Part 2 (Video Games New Looks)

Welcome back! To the next addition of The Castlevania Games part 2! This week we'll be looking at...

*Sighs*

Castlevania II

Simon's Quest.

OK, let me get one thing clear about this, I don't hate this game, in my opinion I think Simon's Quest is a decent edition to the series, but sadly the people who made the game got lazy. REALLY lazy! The plot is simple, after Simon defeated Dracula all his body parts where scattered through out the land into diffident mansion, so it's up to Simon to ride the curse Dracula once and for all. And the way you destroy him for good is to throw a stake at an orb. -_-' *sighs* To be honest, I expected a better plot really. But the replay was very high, and the graphics and sound still have that Castlevania atmosphere.

HAHA! Take that you strange sliver wolf?...

Ummm.... yes?

O_O HOLY SHIT!

Two against one? BRING IT ON!!

*sighs relief* Glad I used that cheat of taking another picture to win. 

O_O ZOMBIES!!!!

TASTE THE RAINBOW OF HOLY WATER MOTHER FUCKER!

(sings) I have often walked, down this street befo... 

WHAT THE...??!

*Sighs* Oh yeah... this bit.... Why would the game designers put something SO annoying and is it really necessary to interrupt the game every few minutes? Also like I said in my previous review in Castlevania 1, the hearts in that game are ammunition, but this game the hearts are... money?.... Well.....

MAKES SENSE TO ME!!!

Well at least you can still get your pork chops from the dirty walls, still strange to me but hell it's Castlevania how could it be worse?

OK, Destroyed the first orb and now.... 

   

I now poss..... wait...

"Prossess"?

"PROSSESS"??!!!

   Oh dear... please tell me this isn't going to be a recurring thing... right?

...... Appaer?...

O_O!

APPAER!!??

OK I'm going to borrow this saying from a mate of mine, who also does reviews on the internet. But if you want to get your facts right, or this case GETTING your spelling mistakes right! You go back and you...

TRY

AGAIN!

*Breaths in deeply* Moving on.... 

Oh before I do move on, I also notice that the text not only doesn't get it's words right or they don't make any sense but, they straight up lie to you. I KNOW RIGHT?! Why would you put that in a game? From my experience the only ones who should lie are the characters IN the game, NOT THE FUCKING GAME PROGRAMMERS! OK I need to calm down... *Takes a deep breath* OK, let's try and continue this shall we? As you carry on playing you begin to notice that this game doesn't give you some very good tips... no shit right?... So I'd advice you to use the internet for the information, or just use your old Nintendo Power book. Takes you back doesn't it? I will say also that there are some other parts in the game that are annoying, like some of the jumps! My god it took me 15 minutes to get from one platform to another because of a stupidly placed wall in my way. The enemies in the game are just... well... in my opinion always pointless. But the only enemy in the game that really annoys me are...

These stupid blobs!

I'm serious! These things can get you anywhere even on the fucking stairs! GOD! *sighs* I really hate those blue buggers. 

With the bosses... WHAT BOSSES?! Really! You don't even have to fight them! You can just walk into their room and walk to where Dracula's other pieces are. Not only is this disappointing, but it just shows how the game designers were really... FUCKING LAZY! Correct me if I am wrong, but is it just me... or is there only three bosses in the whole game?... 

Oh look! The Face of Boe! Hi Jack!

AH! Death, your back. Excuse me need to... destroy Dracula...bye.

And after all that "trouble" and have collected all of Dracula's parts you take it to a chamber and then attack it, and... that's it. THE EASIEST BOSS EVER!

Wow... Dracula, you look like nothing from your two original forms!

  And then finally you've completed the game and for some reason it decided to rip off a Terminator line.

Count Dracula, you are terminated.

So, that's Simon's Quest everyone! Was it any good?

"Everyone": No!

But did you enjoy it?

"Everyone": HELL YEAH!

Sure there are many problems with the game, plenty of spelling mistakes and loads of lazy ideas in it. But like I said before the replay value was high for me, and a lot of other fans of the series. It's one of those games were you can sit back with your friends and have a good laugh with, sure it a sorry excuse for a sequel from the original classic that is Castlevania 1, but it's still a fun game to play and when your taking turns fighting the bosses and monsters it's pretty fun. The graphics are just fantastic from the first, and the music... just epic. 

   

Have a listen.

Well that's Castlevania II Simon's Quest. I hope you've enjoyed this review, and join me next time guys. When we take a look at a much more awesome and better sequel/prequel to the Castlevania series.

Join me next week as we take a look at the last NES title, that is...

Castlevania III

Dracula's Curse.

The Whalley.