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(sings) *AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, HOLY SHIT! WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!!* I can't believe you did this to me, god damn it! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?
OK, OK... I must calm myself down... *breaths in deeply* OK let's get it and review.....
Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts....
OK, well at the start of the game it looked promising, we had the menu screen looking somewhat like the other games and then when I pressed the "Single Player Mode" and when the loading screen came up I found myself listening to a tune I haven't heard in ages, and it turns out to one of Rare's first games BattleToads!...... ha, nice tough... and then we see a flashback scene that shows the first games and the rivalry between Gruntilda and Banjo & Kazooie. After that we finally see......
O_O! They.....oh my.....oh jeez, my god..........OH MY GOD! THEY GOT FAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WHAT THE F***?!
OK.... calm down.... it isn't that bad and to be honest I did found it sort of funny, but... I find it hard to believe an active bear with a red bird in his bag pack who has twice been on adventures and traveled to many lands or worlds suddenly decided to get lazy and eat NOTHING BUT FECKING PIZZAS!!!!!...... I really need to calm down, or I'll never finish this review. So after seeing them.... like that! A radio tells us it's been ten years sense they were created and now... they're all fat and washed up!.... HA! IRONY!!!..... The opening does sort of remind me of Conker, but instead of it being funny Banjo just keeps telling us he should of ordered a small pizza.....
Who does he think he's trying to be?! The fifth turtle?!
OH GOD! TAKE IT AWAY! GO SHH!! TAKE IT AWAY!!!!.....
..... *sighs* Right, after moving around for a bit, we meet up with Gruntilda and it's just like old times again and when they were about to begin their epic battle once again!......
PAUSE
The...hell?....
I didn't pause the game?.....
Oh! It was this guy that did it!..... Ummmm.... who are you?....
We meet a new character calling himself.... The Lord of Games?.... or L.O.G. for short..... Self Obsessive Dick more like! Or S.O.D. for short. :)
I'm sorry if I seem to be completely hating this game but in truth I'm not. I'm more shocked then anything because this to me doesn't feel like I'm playing a Banjo and Kazooie game, it feels more like.... I don't know it just feels off..... Anyway L.O.G. after watching Banjo and Gruntilda trying to collect what he calls "Pointless objects" -_-' *sighs* he says that it's too painful to watch so to... and I can't believe I'm saying this... Get down with the kids!... or as he says it broaden the demographic he'll come up with something original. OK, L.O.G. you've got my attention, what'd have in mind?
What....the......O_O....
THIS IS IT!? YOU REALLY CALL THIS ORIGINAL?! I could name loads of games that have cars, boats and planes, L.O.G. like the Gran Theft Auto games for one!!! Now I know what your thinking and in a way your right, I am over reacting too much about this. But take it from a guy who grew up with the old games, where the whole games where about the adventure and collect things, and then to find this new game where it's all about Lego cars. I just can't see this as a Banjo & Kazooie game I see this more a..... Lego car racing game more then anything, but I will admit something which may shock you all after all the crap I've gone on about this.
I had a laugh with this. In other words I enjoyed it for the most part.
So as I continued to play the game I found myself repeating the same question... What do I do?....
No really I don't know where to go? Somebody, TELL ME WHAT TO DO AND WHERE TO GO!? Later I found out I had to talk to people to unlock missions, but even then I found it hard to carry on playing at that moment and also I found out something else about this game......
Banjo and Kazooie's world is EMPTY!
When I found out I can move around without the cars I went exploring a bit and found I could go anywhere, but found nothing. the world is massive and it has nothing in it! IT MAKES NO SENSE!
I almost get the feeling that this. >>>
Was originally going to be Banjo Threeie, but I can't find any prove nor evidence to validate this idea of mine.
But like I said before I did enjoy this game for what it is, and had some fun building the cars and hell! I even ran over Gruntilda a couple of times too. *evil laugh* >:) Is it a Banjo & Kazooie game to me? No. But it is nice to see the characters again and have fun with them once more even if I feel this isn't a Banjo & Kazooie game to me. Is it really a bad game? No, but bad choices where made in my opinion, but I do like this game. The graphics are pretty appealing and the colorful, Banjo, Kazooie, Gruntilda and all the other characters in the game are very well detailed and good and Banjo controls are really good on the ground. The real game is... not completely boring, just lacking something. I will say this also about the game, it does show some promise for the future of Banjo & Kazooie. If they decide to finally make Banjo Threeie I really think it'll be a really good game.
Would it live up to the originals?
I don't know, but we can only hope that they will make it and it will be a good game, just like the original ones.
*sighs deeply* Ah! Memories....
So that's my first written review and my first game review tune in next time when we continue our journey, and find out what's been happening to our favorite characters. Next week we take a look at.....
*sighs* Oh boy... This will be a long one.... Next week, the Castlevania games.
The Whalley.
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